Aug 14 2021

BIP - DOV

Predicted this would occur, again..

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Heather Killebrew - Timeline

It started with a lie, deceit and deception from Heather Killebrew, before I even called her, the very first time. I looked her up on google after she messaged me on MATCH in Mid-November of 2017, right before Thanksgiving. The results showed that she was a Real Estate agent, which was untrue, misleading and false. She had been, at one time, but hadn’t been for a long while before November of 2017 and up until August 1st of this year, still wasn’t. It was the start and beginning of many more.


Letting go. Finding peace by making peace with it. Moving forward with it. Living life again and loving it.

Month Day Year.

Sometimes, things change unexpectedly, suddenly and rapidly, without warning or notice, as I know all far too well. Sometimes that change is life altering and at other times it is simply a change in direction and heart. What this was going to be, is not what it will be. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all, from the Montes men.

I’m not going to try and cause any trouble for you as you navigate your new life and new girlfriend. I’m an adult and know that sometimes things just don’t work. We didn’t work, but I do want you to be happy with someone else. I hope you will want that for me and for me to be happy without any interference from you. I’m sorry it ended like this.. and I’m sorry that I was the only one who cared enough to say I’m sorry. You never cared and your not sorry, but that’s done now. You made that decision and choice. I hope you have s wonderful life ahead of you and that you get all the things that bring you happiness. God bless and good luck. I will be just fine. I’m tough. I will get through this smoothly. Goodbye Joey. Goodbye to your kids and I hope they are successful in their lives. Good luck.

WINTER

MONTES

Wildwood, MO

11:32 PM 04/10/24



The type of stroke I had "Perseveration"; What exactly is that?

Perseveration is repetitive and continuous behaviour, speech or thought that occurs due to changes in cognitive skills such as memory, attention, and mental flexibility.

Perseveration is a symptom of stroke that involves the unintentional repetition of a word, phrase, action, or feeling. It can occur in people who have had a traumatic brain injury or a stroke.

What causes perseveration?
* Damage to the frontal lobe of the brain, which is responsible for awareness and inhibition
* Difficulty shifting responses or switching to a different activity

What types of perseveration are there?
* Stuck-in-set: Uncontrolled repetition of a thought or topic
* Recurrent perseveration: Unintentional repetition of a behavior
* Continuous perseveration: Uncontrolled repetition of a feeling

How does perseveration affect a person?
* It can limit a person's ability to communicate
* It can make it difficult to carry out daily activities
* It can be harmful to a person's health and relationships
Click to Read full post..

5:07 PM 01/17/25

Planted. It's Personal.

What started as a diversion for me, diverting from heartache, pain and grief over the death of my wife, I used landscaping and planting trees as the way to divert from that pain, heartache and grief, and what once was a diversion grew and evolved into an absolute passionate obsession. Planting trees and landscaping has brought me such happiness, joy, and fulfillment. Our focus, vision,mission and goal is on the recovery and restoration of our forests. Reforestation and environmental restoration, if you will. We know that we can make a significant impact by simply planting one tree at a time and working towards restoring forests to their natural state. The boys and I are committed to doing our part and we encourage and hope others will do the same. We have a simple messaeg and "Do your part. Plant a tree". We keep things simple and smart. Click to Read full post..

6:35 PM 01/16/25

Gemini's Summary of a April 15 and 16th of 2024 email exchange between Heather Killebrew and myself. The never ending break up still continues and goes on and on.. History keeps repeating itself.

* Heather Killebrew and Joseph Montes are ending their relationship.
* Heather is upset that Joseph had a sexual encounter with another woman, Kristie.
* Heather is upset about Joseph's infidelity with Kristie and is moving on.
* They argue about returning Joseph's belongings and Heather's hurtful words towards Joseph's parents.
* Heather wishes Joseph well but wants to move on.
* Joseph expresses his love and regret, but Heather is firm in her decision.
* Heather wishes Joseph well but is firm in her decision to end the relationship.
* Joseph acknowledges his mistakes and accepts the consequences and expresses his wishes to move on.
* Heather threatens legal action against Joseph and refuses Joseph's request for the return of his belongings.
Click to Read full post..

4:45 PM 01/16/25

Google Gemini Summary of a April 10, 2024 email exchange between Heather Killebrew and myself.

* Heather Killebrew accuses Joseph of hurting her and causing pain, comparing him to someone who caused another person to commit suicide.
* Joseph acknowledges his immature and selfish behavior, while Heather expresses her hurt and anger.
* Heather accuses Joseph of pursuing other women and being dishonest, while Joseph denies these accusations.
* Heather states that she no longer wants contact with Joseph and will seek a restraining order.
* Joseph denies having a relationship with the person Heather mentioned and claims to have an unhealthy dependence on Heather.
* Heather expresses her desire to end the relationship and accuses Joseph of being dishonest and unfaithful.
* Joseph claims he is not pursuing anyone else and is sad that Heather feels that way.
* Heather demands that Joseph stop contacting her and untangle himself from her life.
* The conversation escalates with both parties expressing anger, hurt, and frustration.
* Joseph Montes and Heather Killebrew's disagreement escalates into a breakup.
* Heather accuses Joseph of hurting her and being unfaithful.
* Heather is angry and upset, and Joseph tries to explain his actions.
* Heather tells Joseph to stop contacting her and that she will get a lawyer.
* Joseph says he will move on and assumes Heather will too.
* Montes apologizes for his behavior and expresses his desire for change.
* Heather sends a final email accusing Joseph of watching porn and masturbating to it.
CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE EMAIL EXCHANGE Click to Read full post..

2:16 PM 01/16/25

If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.

This is no knock on anyone, some people, want to make and diminish, discount and discredit what they don’t know to make themselves feel normal and to justify their awful behavior. So I’m going to skip and go right to the point. Somebody believes I’m a certain way, which I’m not and never have been. In no way am I beholden to somebody in St. Louis, that vessel of death and destruction has no bearing or influence or hold over me at all, if you want to know who does and why I am watch the notebook. Nobody loved allie the way Noah did and vice versa, that was the love story and relationship I had with Dawne. So if Dawne is a bird than I am a bird. I quite, frankly, don’t care what people think. I lived it. I loved it. I know it, and I still feel it. It fuels and engulfs me every day. And during the care flight from here to the hospital she was in my vision, just smiling, which brought me enormous, peace, calm and comfort, and she’s been with me every day since. Dawne and I had a relationship that was unique to us and how other people, who know absolutely nothing about it or lack the capability or capacity to even come close to that level of a relationship quite, frankly can kiss my ass because I don’t give a shit what nobody has to think or say. I don’t do stupid. I don’t do ignorant. I don’t do excuse makers after the stroke. I will never waste another second on anything less than.

Yesterday I severed all ties with Missouri , once and for all. I changed my phone number, the carrier and my phone. I will never have my mail forwarded, and I will just become a needle in a haystack.

I don’t do stupid and it is a huge waste of time, energy and effort, so I’m done with it. Won’t give it another thought nor any energy

It’s going to take me months upon months or a year or so to recover from a stroke that I had caused by an ankle bracelet that should’ve never been on my ankle because somebody put my mugshot on her front door, wouldn't take it down and refused and wouldn’t mail me back my shit. How fucking stupid that was. Click to Read full post..

2:27 AM 01/07/25

celebration Day. Goal one achieved.

Today is a great day and a very scary day., I get released today from rehab and move into transition to outpatient. I am a long way away from being recovered. I suffered a major stroke to the upper right hemisphere of my brain. In fact, I have been brain damaged and still have lots of swelling in my brain. I can only feel pressure on the left side of my body, which they tell me is normal and could take up to a year to fully recover all the feeling if I'm going to. Whatever was lost in the stroke is lost in the stroke. I have to retrain my brain to do everything. I have amazed them, but that is really just gross motor skills. I won't be able to drive at all as my left eye is completely blurred and I don't trust anything on my left side. It takes a long time to process information on things that I see on the left side of me. My processing speed is way down and my attention span is none. If you’re trying to say something to me of any meaning, you better be done in 30 seconds or less. It it takes a lot of energy to pay attention and absorbed. And most of the energy is being used to just do basic movements on the left side of my body.

It's hard to describe, but if you saw when they had me close my eyes and tried to touch my earlobe with my left hand where my hand goes I have no idea where my hand is, and I have no idea where my left earlobe is. It takes enormous energy just to look at your thumb and try to make it twitch. It is very draining.. I have lost a ton of memory, which may not be a bad thing. I can barely move my left arm, and I have no fine skills with my left hand whatsoever. I can't hold my own phone in my left hand.

But I can walk, with the help of a walker. I'm not gonna get frustrated. As I may never be able to hold a golf club again and play golf or do things that I were doing outside, but I am going to give myself the OK to recover and heal. They have a saying around here and I love it. I am goddamn tougher than a stroke.

For the people who haven't had a stroke, you have no idea what that means.

I have regulated my blood pressure and it is under control now I'm going home with 18 prescriptions. My stroke was caused by a blood clot from my left leg because of the ankle bracelet. Even though it wasn't directly related to my smoking or high blood pressure I am not going to smoke ever again. but now I'm susceptible to having more strokes which I never want.

And the fact of the matter is and I proved it I'm still here and I'm still breathing and I'm going home. I am goddamn tougher than a stroke. Joey one stroke zero.

The stroke took a lot from me that will take a long time for me to retrain my brain to overcome, but I will because I'm not gonna let a stroke beat me Click to Read full post..

5:40 AM 01/03/25

The boys and my dad came to see me today and they got to witness me go through intense physical therapy

The boys and my dad came to see me today and watch me through Therapy My dad brought Adam and Carter up to see me today. They got to watch me go through two hours of intense physical therapy. They got to witness me struggle with the very basics of walking and working my ass off. They got to watch me relearn to walk and how difficult it is and how hard I work at it. It is a struggle. I see my leg and I see my hand, Trying to get the brain to reconnect to them is The issue. I was sitting there, thinking how Dawnie Would become the best physical therapist on the planet for me And I couldn’t imagine the other one ever doing anything of the sort. I have a big void in memory, I have cluster memory loss. I really don’t remember the last few years. I will continue to work my ass off. I have a goal to get out of here. And I’m working my butt off to get there. I miss my boys. It was good seeing them. I will recover. I am goddamn determined. Click to Read full post..

10:16 AM 12/30/24

Transient Ischemic Attack

A Transient Ischemic Attack is a blockage of the flow of blood to the brain that lasts temporarily. It is also referred to as a mini-stroke as the symptoms are the same. Unlike a full-fledged stroke, it does not cause any permanent damage but is still a serious condition. A TIA is typically the bodies way of alerting to other problems or more strokes to come. The attack is usually over in a matter of minutes, but being hospitalized is imperative. Diagnosing the problem and preventing a serious stroke are vital in the days following a TIA.

A lot more to come on this and the direct impact of Heather Killebrew behaviors and conduct that led and caused my stroke. Heather kept me in a constant state of stress, distress, duress and upset, coupled with my uncontrollable hypertension, led directly to me having a stroke. More to come .. Click to Read full post..

12:23 PM 12/26/24

Lost in your eyes. I am happy and at Peace today. Thank you, my love.

D,
I’ve been lost in your eyes all morning. I can’t stop looking at you and those eyes of yours. You have no idea and I could never describe how, the way you looked at me, made me feel. Looking at this picture gazing into those beautiful, amazing blue eyes of yours, I feel the same way. I felt so loved, cared for, wanted, desired, happy, peaceful and whole. I feel that way, again. I am lost in your eyes, just the way I always had been. Thank you for loving and caring for me the way you did. I miss you so much. I know you’re with me, I know you’re here, now, I feel you. Thank you for bringing out the very best in me. I am happy and at peace today, thank you, my love. I love you more..

J Click to Read full post..

10:10 AM 12/11/24

Holy Sh!t, Bat Girl!

Today was going through the financials, to file corporate bankruptcy by the end of the year. OMG!! Which led me to have to look at emails and oh my God, again. Holy sh!t! I had an idea, but not like this. Holy sh!t!

Side note. This person didn’t know Dawne at all. She denigrates, demeans and character assassinates Dawne, a person she didn’t know nor knew the person Dawne was. Dawne, was an incredibly strong, incredible woman. Dawne had her demon, but that was not me and never me. Dawne and I had an amazing relationship, partnership, friendship, and marriage.

Dawne never put people down, nor trashed them, nor said bad things about them. If she didn’t want to engage with someone because they were not her cup of tea, they weren’t in her or our universe and didn’t eat up one second of thought nor time of hers.

My Dawnie was a hard ass, tough as nails. You always knew where you stood with Dawne. She was the most authentic genuine real person I have ever known. She put on no airs and didn’t pretend to be something she wasn’t. You knew exactly where you stood with her.

She was my perfect matching puzzle piece. We just fit.

Remember, after all, I am her husband and it is a privilege and honor that she chose me to be. I didn’t choose for her to be gone. I would never choose that nor have chosen to live a life without her.

My Dawne was the most amazing incredible woman. An incredible person. An incredible mother and the very best partner, companion, friend and spouse a person could have. That is who my wife was and as her husband, I will honor her and protect her and her name to the day I take my last breath. Click to Read full post..

11:44 PM 12/10/24

The look on my face, when returning home from [redacted] on October 21st and discovering..

The look on my face, when returning home from Jail and discovering that the older two had ransacked my house, sold items of mine off and had taken countless other valuable things, but this is the look of having your heart ripped out of your ass. Among the things taking (stolen) was Dawne’s jewelry, her engagement ring and her four wedding bands. All the other stuff and things taken, can be replaced, those can never be. Her necklace, earrings and the rings were placed into my hands by the priest at St. Joseph’s West the night Dawne passed away. Nothing else mattered, had just been told a few days earlier that they discovered a large mass in my left lung or that I was arrested or that I had to..

If ever, you wanted to crush, eviscerate and destroy someone (me), you would have to do exactly that. I had my heart ripped out of my ass and.. That is the reason for the look on my face. Click to Read full post..

1:32 PM 12/09/24



Just in case you don’t have access to that email address or no longer use that email address, below are the emails that I’ve sent to you today.

There will be a very significant, major and direct impact on you financially. When I file, bankruptcy personal and corporate, but entirely corporate, I, [ Redacted ], will be required to notify you of that bankruptcy and how it will affect you. The conservator assigned by the federal magistrate, will assign all monies spent out of the company directly on you as income of yours because of the way I had designated those expenditures. You will receive 1099’s for seven years (2018-2024). The total amount will be north of $500,000. Attached is a screenshot of just one of hundreds of similar emails you sent me. There are hundreds of emails of you asking me to give you cash or you asking me to buy you things and to pay for things for you. In those emails several of them state you want to avoid drawing attention to the cash when you deposit it and how you would deposit it over time to not draw the attention of the IRS, which is knowing admission. When I file corporate bankruptcy, this will definitely occur and happen. It’s up to you, whether I file for bankruptcy or not, but time is quickly running out.

I know it’s crappy, but.. At least you won’t be blindsided by it.

There is also a significant trail of you using my corporate debit card ending in 2103 to make online purchases that trace to your email address and the items being shipped and delivered to your home.

I am just making you aware and notifying you that there will be an impact to you when I file bankruptcy for the corporation. It is no joke, it is legitimate. I never signed or provided you the required requisite gift forms for tax purposes and you know that.

I am just letting you know. So you won’t be blindsided by it. Click to Read full post..

12:03 PM 08/29/24

There will be a very significant, major and direct impact on you financially. When I file, bankruptcy personal and corporate, but entirely corporate, I, [ Name Redacted ] , will be required to notify you of that bankruptcy and how it will affect you. The conservator assigned by the federal magistrate, will assign all monies spent out of the company directly on you as income of yours because of the way I had designated those expenditures. You will receive 1099’s for seven years (2018-2024). The total amount will be north of $500,000. Attached is a screenshot of just one of hundreds of similar emails you sent me. There are hundreds of emails of you asking me to give you cash or you asking me to buy you things and to pay for things for you. In those emails several of them state you want to avoid drawing attention to the cash when you deposit it and how you would deposit it over time to not draw the attention of the IRS, which is knowing admission. When I file corporate bankruptcy, this will definitely occur and happen. It’s up to you, whether I file for bankruptcy or not, but time is quickly running out.

Heather email Click to Read full post..

7:09 AM 08/29/24

Hello. Hope all is going well for you. You once asked me, not long ago, what would I, actually, do if I got my belongings and stuff back from you? The answer is, I would go away and be completely out of your life. For me, my belongings being there provides me hope, as you want them and me there and provides a reason to continue to try and contact you and keep the auto shipments going. Getting my belongings returned to me will provide finality and complete closure. I believe you know this isn’t what or how I want it to be between us. I believe you know that I don’t want my belongings out of your home and to be out of your life and have you out of mine, but you do. I’m positive that you have gathered them up and they are bagged or boxed somewhere, there’s no reason for them to still be there and not returned to me. Returning them to me will get me totally out of your life. I did want the dolly back and the tools I left on the black rack next to the Mercedes, but you can’t mail those. I’m not asking for anything out of the ordinary nor unusual. It’s the final step and it closes the door shut. Not returning them, Keeps the door open, which is how I perceive it and feel about it. Not getting them returned, provides reason to continue to contact you. If you want me completely out of your life, then you will return my items back to me or allow me to collect them. Please let me know how and when you plan to get those back and returned to me. Please. Click to Read full post..

8:50 AM 08/22/24

Tonight at midnight when it switches over to the 22nd, I’m officially done with probation. All the pressure, stress, anxiety, fear and desperation I had been under for a few years is all gone. I’m no longer desperate about anything. I’m going to be getting around $520k out of the house when it sells. I’m going to have an estate sale and then move whatever doesn’t sell. I can finally breathe. In roughly 60 days I am out of this house. I am going to rent for a little bit and take my time in picking a home instead of just a house. I have no ill feelings toward or about you at all. The pressure is off and I’m no longer full of anxiety and fear, and it feels wonderful. I can’t wait to get out of this house, It’s been my prison for many years. Hope life finds you well. Click to Read full post..

10:58 AM 08/21/24

This past week, I went to my family and told them everything. Started with calling Paul to tell him about my financial situation and then my sister called and I finally yesterday called and talked to my dad and told him. My sister and Paul bought me out of the house and bought the jet skis and boat from me. This coming week either Monday or Tuesday I will be paying all my back real estate taxes on my home in full. I feel so much better and it wasn’t near as embarrassing and humiliating as I thought it would be, actually made me feel better. A whole lot better. I am selling the house and I am going to be moving. I don’t know where yet, but I will be moving. I am in a much better place than I have been in many years. The constant fear, anxiety, pressure and stress of going to prison is all but gone. I am no longer desperate, and making desperate decisions, which I have for many years. It was one desperate decision after another desperate decision which compounded into a total train wreck. I know you don’t read these things, but I thought I would share anyways and tell you that I have manned up. Click to Read full post..

4:09 AM 08/17/24

Hello. I go to my last probation meeting this morning at 10. I get to pee in a cup one last time. Next thursday at 12:01 a.m. I will no longer be a convicted felon. I will no longer be an inmate. Yes they did know, there was contact between us. Yes I faced going to prison. You have no idea the stress that I was under and had been living with. You couldn’t possibly. I miss you. I wish things were different. You know how I feel about my personal belongings and items. I love you with all my heart and I am really struggling, but I am functioning and being productive. Just been trying to figure out how to make money. Hope and wish things are going well for you and life finds you well. This has been really difficult, just would like to get my things back from you, if that’s the way you want this. I miss you and I love you. Click to Read full post..

7:33 AM 08/13/24

I won’t dignify that with an answer.This is so silly and stupid, ridiculous and childish. The other night you called my mother a whore, who was nothing but kind and gracious to you, You’re 50 years old, not three. Your beef is with me, not them, but you attacked and insulted them anyways. You chose to level the ugliest insults at my parents, who’ve done and did nothing to you, nothing at all. First, you should’ve never said it. Secondly, you should feel awful, terrible and horrible about it and wanted to apologize for it. You didn’t, don’t and won’t and that says it all about you.

You should, also, feel regret and remorse, but you don’t. You think and feel that it is/was justified and that you’re not accountable or responsible for your actions, behavior and words and it is/was ok and nothing was wrong with it. Everything is wrong with that. They did nothing to you. There is nothing that excuses or justifies what you said about them or even bringing them into this with me. Click to Read full post..

7:03 AM 04/16/24

I’m not going to try and cause any trouble for you as you navigate your new life and new girlfriend. I’m an adult and know that sometimes things just don’t work. We didn’t work, but I do want you to be happy with someone else. I hope you will want that for me and for me to be happy without any interference from you. I’m sorry it ended like this.. and I’m sorry that I was the only one who cared enough to say I’m sorry. You never cared and your not sorry, but that’s done now. You made that decision and choice. I hope you have s wonderful life ahead of you and that you get all the things that bring you happiness. God bless and good luck. I will be just fine. I’m tough. I will get through this smoothly. Goodbye Joey. Goodbye to your kids and I hope they are successful in their lives. Good luck.

Sent from my iPhone

... Click to Read full post..

11:32 PM 04/10/24