The type of stroke I had "Perseveration"; What exactly is that?

Perseveration is repetitive and continuous behaviour, speech or thought that occurs due to changes in cognitive skills such as memory, attention, and mental flexibility.

Perseveration is a symptom of stroke that involves the unintentional repetition of a word, phrase, action, or feeling. It can occur in people who have had a traumatic brain injury or a stroke.

What causes perseveration?
* Damage to the frontal lobe of the brain, which is responsible for awareness and inhibition
* Difficulty shifting responses or switching to a different activity

What types of perseveration are there?
* Stuck-in-set: Uncontrolled repetition of a thought or topic
* Recurrent perseveration: Unintentional repetition of a behavior
* Continuous perseveration: Uncontrolled repetition of a feeling

How does perseveration affect a person?
* It can limit a person's ability to communicate
* It can make it difficult to carry out daily activities
* It can be harmful to a person's health and relationships
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5:07 PM 01/17/25

Planted. It's Personal.

What started as a diversion for me, diverting from heartache, pain and grief over the death of my wife, I used landscaping and planting trees as the way to divert from that pain, heartache and grief, and what once was a diversion grew and evolved into an absolute passionate obsession. Planting trees and landscaping has brought me such happiness, joy, and fulfillment. Our focus, vision,mission and goal is on the recovery and restoration of our forests. Reforestation and environmental restoration, if you will. We know that we can make a significant impact by simply planting one tree at a time and working towards restoring forests to their natural state. The boys and I are committed to doing our part and we encourage and hope others will do the same. We have a simple messaeg and "Do your part. Plant a tree". We keep things simple and smart. Click to Read full post..

6:35 PM 01/16/25

Gemini's Summary of a April 15 and 16th of 2024 email exchange between Heather Killebrew and myself. The never ending break up still continues and goes on and on.. History keeps repeating itself.

* Heather Killebrew and Joseph Montes are ending their relationship.
* Heather is upset that Joseph had a sexual encounter with another woman, Kristie.
* Heather is upset about Joseph's infidelity with Kristie and is moving on.
* They argue about returning Joseph's belongings and Heather's hurtful words towards Joseph's parents.
* Heather wishes Joseph well but wants to move on.
* Joseph expresses his love and regret, but Heather is firm in her decision.
* Heather wishes Joseph well but is firm in her decision to end the relationship.
* Joseph acknowledges his mistakes and accepts the consequences and expresses his wishes to move on.
* Heather threatens legal action against Joseph and refuses Joseph's request for the return of his belongings.
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4:45 PM 01/16/25

Google Gemini Summary of a April 10, 2024 email exchange between Heather Killebrew and myself.

* Heather Killebrew accuses Joseph of hurting her and causing pain, comparing him to someone who caused another person to commit suicide.
* Joseph acknowledges his immature and selfish behavior, while Heather expresses her hurt and anger.
* Heather accuses Joseph of pursuing other women and being dishonest, while Joseph denies these accusations.
* Heather states that she no longer wants contact with Joseph and will seek a restraining order.
* Joseph denies having a relationship with the person Heather mentioned and claims to have an unhealthy dependence on Heather.
* Heather expresses her desire to end the relationship and accuses Joseph of being dishonest and unfaithful.
* Joseph claims he is not pursuing anyone else and is sad that Heather feels that way.
* Heather demands that Joseph stop contacting her and untangle himself from her life.
* The conversation escalates with both parties expressing anger, hurt, and frustration.
* Joseph Montes and Heather Killebrew's disagreement escalates into a breakup.
* Heather accuses Joseph of hurting her and being unfaithful.
* Heather is angry and upset, and Joseph tries to explain his actions.
* Heather tells Joseph to stop contacting her and that she will get a lawyer.
* Joseph says he will move on and assumes Heather will too.
* Montes apologizes for his behavior and expresses his desire for change.
* Heather sends a final email accusing Joseph of watching porn and masturbating to it.
CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE EMAIL EXCHANGE Click to Read full post..

2:16 PM 01/16/25

If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.

This is no knock on anyone, some people, want to make and diminish, discount and discredit what they don’t know to make themselves feel normal and to justify their awful behavior. So I’m going to skip and go right to the point. Somebody believes I’m a certain way, which I’m not and never have been. In no way am I beholden to somebody in St. Louis, that vessel of death and destruction has no bearing or influence or hold over me at all, if you want to know who does and why I am watch the notebook. Nobody loved allie the way Noah did and vice versa, that was the love story and relationship I had with Dawne. So if Dawne is a bird than I am a bird. I quite, frankly, don’t care what people think. I lived it. I loved it. I know it, and I still feel it. It fuels and engulfs me every day. And during the care flight from here to the hospital she was in my vision, just smiling, which brought me enormous, peace, calm and comfort, and she’s been with me every day since. Dawne and I had a relationship that was unique to us and how other people, who know absolutely nothing about it or lack the capability or capacity to even come close to that level of a relationship quite, frankly can kiss my ass because I don’t give a shit what nobody has to think or say. I don’t do stupid. I don’t do ignorant. I don’t do excuse makers after the stroke. I will never waste another second on anything less than.

Yesterday I severed all ties with Missouri , once and for all. I changed my phone number, the carrier and my phone. I will never have my mail forwarded, and I will just become a needle in a haystack.

I don’t do stupid and it is a huge waste of time, energy and effort, so I’m done with it. Won’t give it another thought nor any energy

It’s going to take me months upon months or a year or so to recover from a stroke that I had caused by an ankle bracelet that should’ve never been on my ankle because somebody put my mugshot on her front door, wouldn't take it down and refused and wouldn’t mail me back my shit. How fucking stupid that was. Click to Read full post..

2:27 AM 01/07/25

celebration Day. Goal one achieved.

Today is a great day and a very scary day., I get released today from rehab and move into transition to outpatient. I am a long way away from being recovered. I suffered a major stroke to the upper right hemisphere of my brain. In fact, I have been brain damaged and still have lots of swelling in my brain. I can only feel pressure on the left side of my body, which they tell me is normal and could take up to a year to fully recover all the feeling if I'm going to. Whatever was lost in the stroke is lost in the stroke. I have to retrain my brain to do everything. I have amazed them, but that is really just gross motor skills. I won't be able to drive at all as my left eye is completely blurred and I don't trust anything on my left side. It takes a long time to process information on things that I see on the left side of me. My processing speed is way down and my attention span is none. If you’re trying to say something to me of any meaning, you better be done in 30 seconds or less. It it takes a lot of energy to pay attention and absorbed. And most of the energy is being used to just do basic movements on the left side of my body.

It's hard to describe, but if you saw when they had me close my eyes and tried to touch my earlobe with my left hand where my hand goes I have no idea where my hand is, and I have no idea where my left earlobe is. It takes enormous energy just to look at your thumb and try to make it twitch. It is very draining.. I have lost a ton of memory, which may not be a bad thing. I can barely move my left arm, and I have no fine skills with my left hand whatsoever. I can't hold my own phone in my left hand.

But I can walk, with the help of a walker. I'm not gonna get frustrated. As I may never be able to hold a golf club again and play golf or do things that I were doing outside, but I am going to give myself the OK to recover and heal. They have a saying around here and I love it. I am goddamn tougher than a stroke.

For the people who haven't had a stroke, you have no idea what that means.

I have regulated my blood pressure and it is under control now I'm going home with 18 prescriptions. My stroke was caused by a blood clot from my left leg because of the ankle bracelet. Even though it wasn't directly related to my smoking or high blood pressure I am not going to smoke ever again. but now I'm susceptible to having more strokes which I never want.

And the fact of the matter is and I proved it I'm still here and I'm still breathing and I'm going home. I am goddamn tougher than a stroke. Joey one stroke zero.

The stroke took a lot from me that will take a long time for me to retrain my brain to overcome, but I will because I'm not gonna let a stroke beat me Click to Read full post..

5:40 AM 01/03/25

The boys and my dad came to see me today and they got to witness me go through intense physical therapy

The boys and my dad came to see me today and watch me through Therapy My dad brought Adam and Carter up to see me today. They got to watch me go through two hours of intense physical therapy. They got to witness me struggle with the very basics of walking and working my ass off. They got to watch me relearn to walk and how difficult it is and how hard I work at it. It is a struggle. I see my leg and I see my hand, Trying to get the brain to reconnect to them is The issue. I was sitting there, thinking how Dawnie Would become the best physical therapist on the planet for me And I couldn’t imagine the other one ever doing anything of the sort. I have a big void in memory, I have cluster memory loss. I really don’t remember the last few years. I will continue to work my ass off. I have a goal to get out of here. And I’m working my butt off to get there. I miss my boys. It was good seeing them. I will recover. I am goddamn determined. Click to Read full post..

10:16 AM 12/30/24

Transient Ischemic Attack

A Transient Ischemic Attack is a blockage of the flow of blood to the brain that lasts temporarily. It is also referred to as a mini-stroke as the symptoms are the same. Unlike a full-fledged stroke, it does not cause any permanent damage but is still a serious condition. A TIA is typically the bodies way of alerting to other problems or more strokes to come. The attack is usually over in a matter of minutes, but being hospitalized is imperative. Diagnosing the problem and preventing a serious stroke are vital in the days following a TIA.

A lot more to come on this and the direct impact of Heather Killebrew behaviors and conduct that led and caused my stroke. Heather kept me in a constant state of stress, distress, duress and upset, coupled with my uncontrollable hypertension, led directly to me having a stroke. More to come .. Click to Read full post..

12:23 PM 12/26/24

Lost in your eyes. I am happy and at Peace today. Thank you, my love.

D,
I’ve been lost in your eyes all morning. I can’t stop looking at you and those eyes of yours. You have no idea and I could never describe how, the way you looked at me, made me feel. Looking at this picture gazing into those beautiful, amazing blue eyes of yours, I feel the same way. I felt so loved, cared for, wanted, desired, happy, peaceful and whole. I feel that way, again. I am lost in your eyes, just the way I always had been. Thank you for loving and caring for me the way you did. I miss you so much. I know you’re with me, I know you’re here, now, I feel you. Thank you for bringing out the very best in me. I am happy and at peace today, thank you, my love. I love you more..

J Click to Read full post..

10:10 AM 12/11/24

Holy Sh!t, Bat Girl!

Today was going through the financials, to file corporate bankruptcy by the end of the year. OMG!! Which led me to have to look at emails and oh my God, again. Holy sh!t! I had an idea, but not like this. Holy sh!t!

Side note. This person didn’t know Dawne at all. She denigrates, demeans and character assassinates Dawne, a person she didn’t know nor knew the person Dawne was. Dawne, was an incredibly strong, incredible woman. Dawne had her demon, but that was not me and never me. Dawne and I had an amazing relationship, partnership, friendship, and marriage.

Dawne never put people down, nor trashed them, nor said bad things about them. If she didn’t want to engage with someone because they were not her cup of tea, they weren’t in her or our universe and didn’t eat up one second of thought nor time of hers.

My Dawnie was a hard ass, tough as nails. You always knew where you stood with Dawne. She was the most authentic genuine real person I have ever known. She put on no airs and didn’t pretend to be something she wasn’t. You knew exactly where you stood with her.

She was my perfect matching puzzle piece. We just fit.

Remember, after all, I am her husband and it is a privilege and honor that she chose me to be. I didn’t choose for her to be gone. I would never choose that nor have chosen to live a life without her.

My Dawne was the most amazing incredible woman. An incredible person. An incredible mother and the very best partner, companion, friend and spouse a person could have. That is who my wife was and as her husband, I will honor her and protect her and her name to the day I take my last breath. Click to Read full post..

11:44 PM 12/10/24

The look on my face, when returning home from [redacted] on October 21st and discovering..

The look on my face, when returning home from Jail and discovering that the older two had ransacked my house, sold items of mine off and had taken countless other valuable things, but this is the look of having your heart ripped out of your ass. Among the things taking (stolen) was Dawne’s jewelry, her engagement ring and her four wedding bands. All the other stuff and things taken, can be replaced, those can never be. Her necklace, earrings and the rings were placed into my hands by the priest at St. Joseph’s West the night Dawne passed away. Nothing else mattered, had just been told a few days earlier that they discovered a large mass in my left lung or that I was arrested or that I had to..

If ever, you wanted to crush, eviscerate and destroy someone (me), you would have to do exactly that. I had my heart ripped out of my ass and.. That is the reason for the look on my face. Click to Read full post..

1:32 PM 12/09/24